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These Two Hands

Wolverines

I have a new strategy.

Recently, I completely lost it on the phone with a Customer Service Representative from a Large, Evil Financial Institution. After wrestling back and forth for weeks over some BULLSHIT retro-active interest applied to my account, I made a final call with the intention of firmly and politely giving them a piece of my mind. What followed was a shouted, expletive-laden tirade that surprised even me. And you know what? It WORKED. They ate the charge.

From now on, I think this is how I'm going to deal with every customer service situation. For example:

Customer Service Drone- "Can I help you, sir?"

MFDC- "I hope you get skull-fucked by a wolverine."

Customer Service Drone- "Excuse me, sir?"

MFDC- "I hope you get hit by a bus, which knocks you in front of a train, which slices you in half, leaving just enough life in your severed body so that realize you are being skull-fucked by an entire pack of rabid, syphilitic wolverines."

Customer Service Drone- "Thank you, please drive around to the second window."

Life is about to get a lot more... cathartic.

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Not so much lately. Subject? Verb? Eh.

I'm fine. How are you?